Humor for Mothers Day

Moments prior to yesterday's stabbing in North East Calgary, I was in the same mall’s flower shop deciding on the contents of the bouquet that my mother would receive in honor of mother’s day this past weekend. She called me around lunch time to thank me for the gift and rambled on how nice of a gift it was. Shortly after that, I check my email and see a few blogs I follow posted something in honor of mother’s day as well. Now mother’s day is fresh on my mind so I figured I would bring some humor to my blog in honor of mother’s day.

A LITTLE TLC FROM MOM:

motherly advice from all moms across the board

A little soap & water never killed anybody.

Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.

Answer me when I ask you a question!

Are you going out dressed like that?

Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!

Be good.

Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.

Clean up after yourself!

Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food! (Tell that to a bachelor lol)

Did you clean your room?

Did you flush?

Do you live to annoy me?

Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.

Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.

Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way

Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!

If you’re the musical type. You might like this ode to mom

Things you wouldn’t hear mom say:

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"

"Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery"

"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week

"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day."

"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

"I don't have a tissue with me...just use your sleeve"

"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve."