Denied

“A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said.” (Mark 1:40) NLT.

As I read this verse a few weeks ago, something struck me. Here the leper asks Jesus to make him clean, but only if He wants to. The following verse tells us that Jesus is willing, so He reaches out His hand touches and heals the man. The Leper is overflowing with joy. He then spreads the word about the great and mighty work that Jesus had done and he’s possibly praising God because of it. But Jesus only healed the man because He was willing to do so. What if the leper asked Jesus to heal him and He said no?

This is a reality I am faced with daily. Born with a disability I find myself echoing the words of the leper. “Jesus, I know that you can heal me, so please take this disability away.” In the face of my plea I wake up each morning with the Lord denying my request; and living life the same as yesterday. Limited in my physical abilities and having to navigate my daily functions with an unwanted challange.

I take comfort knowing that I don’t face this alone. Scripture calms my mood when God refuses to heal my legs; especially these words from the apostle Paul: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. ” Here, Paul confesses to having a thorn embedded in his flesh. Not wanting to deal with this ailment, he too gives voice to the plea of the leper. “Jesus, if you are willing you can make me clean.” Yet Jesus withholds His healing touch. The leper praised God and spread the news of his healing, but Paul’s testimony tells a different story.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8, Paul tells us that he cried out to God, pleading three times to make his life easier by removing the thorn from his side. The Lord hears his cry and responds by saying no. Paul doesn’t need to be healed. As the thorn remains, God is shown to be bigger then healings and miracles. By keeping the thorn in his flesh, anything Paul does to advance God’s Kingdom is merely God’s Holy Spirit using Paul’s weakness to His advantage.

In his first letter to the Corinthians Paul wrote:

“…God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.”

Yet in his next letter to the Corinthian church, Paul is boasting about his weaknesses. This is an act of God’s grace. The fact that people are praising God in lieu of Paul’s weaknesses gives testimony to God’s power. No one can say that they are the only reason Paul’s ministry is thriving. Paul’s weakness is so debilitating that the ministry would suffer if he didn’t depend on God to give him his daily needs. This is why he boasts in his weaknesses. For when he is weak, God is strong. Without the thorn, Paul would rely on his own strength to see the ministry to survive. Giving him this thorn keeps Paul humbled. By solely relying on God’s strength, He gets all the credit. When someone praises Paul for his success in ministry, all the apostle can do is thank God for being an instrument of God’s grace.

Every day I wake up and realize that God denied my request to walk on my own. Consequently I’m forced to answer this question: what benefit does today’s challenge bring me? Most often the answer is humility and encouragement to those around me. When people see what I go through in a day they are humbled. Putting on socks is an example of little things that most people take for granted. Because of my disability I struggle with this task. Four or five attempts later, those socks are warming my toes. When people watch me do it with a smile, they are blown away. I’m not frustrated or beating myself up because I can’t do it or is so hard. It puts them in a place of humility.

In this example, all I’m doing is putting on a pair of socks. But some people see God in what I do. People see me struggle yet I’m not depressed or getting sad about it. I have joy! I’ve been told on countless occasions people are inspired by the joy in my heart and the smile on my face. Jesus gave me that smile. As I wake each morning, I receive the grace I need to face my challenges head on. Bringing glory to God in the midst of my weakness; praising God for His grace that is sufficient.

Earlier I shared about answering the question: what benefit does today’s challenge bring me? Think about some of your own challenges for a moment. What might some of them be? How might this approach to the challenges you face change your attitude about it? How does it help you see God in the situation?

Running Together

This winter I joined a racing team. Once a week we would do laps at an indoor track in preparation for a series of road races during the spring and summer months. A few weeks ago, I competed in my first road race since joining the team. I was amazed at the amount of people cheering me on as I approached the finish line.

Since then, the opening verse of Hebrews 12 has been on my mind.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1 NIV

The opening verse of chapter 12 is a continuation of what the writer pens in the previous chapter. Chapter 11 starts out with a definition of faith, then the writer lists a variety of people throughout the Old Testament who demonstrated great faith and commitment to God. Among those listed are Abraham, Moses, Rahab the prostitute, Samson, David, Samuel and the prophets. The list and the stories go on.

Trusting in the unknown is a tough thing to do, and all those listed in Hebrews 11 are people whose faith in God leads them into dangerous situations. Abraham gave up everything he had and followed God’s voice into an unknown land. Then he trusted that God would give him a son to pass on his inheritance; something that didn’t happen until Abraham passed his hundredth birthday. When Moses freed the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, he did so by leading God’s people in a revolt against his adopted father.

The Hebrew writer continues demonstrating the power of faith in God by telling the readers that faith conquers kingdoms, raises the dead, offers strength to those in need, and defeated whole armies (Heb 11:33-35). Great faith also leads to difficult times. Faith in God, the author says, cost many their lives as they fell victims to torture via jail time, being whipped with stones and public execution.

At this point Hebrews 12 opens with a word picture of running a marathon. Those listed in the previous chapter make up our “could of witness.” Those who have already finished a life of faith are cheering us on to follow in their footsteps. By providing us with examples of people who have completed a life of faithful commitment to God we the readers are encouraged to continue as the apostle Paul says “…toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called (us) heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:14)

Hebrews 12:1 encourages us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.” By doing so, we will successfully finish the life of faith that has been marked out for us. There is no clear indication as to what weighs us down in our race. But theologian Ray Stedman suggests what that excess weight may be. He says: “As Moses laid aside the prerogatives of royalty for the sake of his God-given mission, so we must throw off whatever may hinder faith even though it may be right for others… Each runner must honestly judge what hinders faith for him or her and resolutely lay it aside, even though others seem to be unhindered by the same thing.”

I don’t know what could be weighing you down in your relationship with God, but I do know that whatever slows us down differs for every person. For some it’s an addiction to alcohol. For others it could be an ongoing struggle to maintain sexually pure until after marriage. Anger, over eating, laziness, busyness, self mutilation, pride, racism, struggling with body image are all examples of the things that weigh us down and distract us from a commitment to God. The possibilities are endless. Struggling with sin can be a daunting task, sometimes draining our energy and needing all our focus.

Toward the end of my road race, I was tired and sore but still had a steep hill to climb. A few times it was too much. I had to stop to catch my breath and gain some strength. While I was stopped, people passed me, “don’t give up!! You’re almost there!! You can do it!!” were some of the ways my fellow racers gave me the strength I needed to keep going. Before I new it I was at the top of the hill. From that point the race was easy to finish.

The same principle can be applied to our relationship with the Lord.

Living with sin can be like carrying too much weight slowing us down, preventing us from accomplishing all the plans God has for us. Getting rid of the weight that slows us down isn’t always an easy task. That’s why these verses are an encouragement. It reminds us we don’t face the world alone. We have a community of believers to turn to for encouragement and support. One of the ways we get that encouragement and support is by sharing our lives with each other and asking for it.

The book of James tells us to confess our sins to each other (James 5:16). Gal 6:1-2 says: “… if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” If you have been running the race on your own, and find there are a few things that you constantly stumble on (like maintaining sexual purity for example), let me encourage you to find an accountability partner.

Ideally this will be someone of the same sex you trust. The old adage honesty is the best policy applies here. An accountability relationship only works if the two of you can always be 100% honest with each other. The more vulnerable you can be with this person the better. When looking for an accountability partner try and find someone who has been through the same trial you are facing. As some one who has “been there,” they maybe able to offer tips and advice to help you avoid tempting situations.

With these things in mind, let me close by asking what is weighing you down in your relationship with God?

Do you have an accountability partner? Can you think of someone you can trust to be completely vulnerable with? If not, begin by asking God to put people in your life with whom you can be accountable. If you would like to, you can use the sample prayer below.

Lord Jesus thank you for loving me, despite the stumbling block I have in my life. Please help me find someone I can be accountable to so I can be a better servant for you and finally be able to put {name your stumbling block} behind me. Thank you Jesus in your name I pray, Amen!

Blessings to you as begin the journey toward accountability my friend!

If this message touched you in any way please leave a comment sharing your story.

Dancing With Jesus

For those that dont know, during the last week of 2009, I boarded one of these

and traveled across country to Hamilton Ontario. It was quite the trek, and although I enjoyed my time there I think I will fly next time I’m going anywhere east of Regina Saskatchewan. Before departing I had asked some people to pray for me in the hopes of learning something either about myself or God. I’m happy to report that the prayers did not go unanswered. During one of the church services I attended, I had a revelatory moment if you will.

There was a moment in the worship service when I wondered how special it would be to have the very first time I dance be at s wedding with my new bride. (If I ever find a lady special enough to marry.) Then a second thought popped in my brain. Saving my very first dance for my bride would be pretty special but how much MORE special would it be if I had that first dance with Jesus after I’m in heaven. (It would be easier too cuz then I wouldn’t worry about losing my balance lol)

Doing so might mean living the rest of my days on crutches but that’s ok, because God can use me either way. In fact, it’s been said that my witness for Christ is louder because of my need for crutches.


I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. 1 Corinthians 12:7-10

Once It Began ...

Last night I told you how I began writing devotionals in March of '09... This is its continuation

During this time I was still in college heavily focused on finishing my internship and graduating Bible College. I started out the internship with a plan to bring people with disabilities to my local church. However, at the end of the first semester it was clear my first idea was a no fly zone. Fortunately the college and I came up with an alternative plan for the final semester.

From January to April my internship was to be a research project on the needs of people with disabilities in the city and how the church is currently responding to those needs. After the college and I decided this was the next course of action, we pooled our resources, developed an action plan and off I went.

Four months came and went and at the end of it I was juggling classes, homework, devotional writing and the extra demands that come with being a graduating college student. It was tough but at the end of April I was holding my college degree and a 12-15 page research paper on how the church at large can minister to people with disabilities in Calgary.

In May I had a real difficult time writing my devotionals for Got To Be There Ministries in Australia. After some prayer, we realized the Lord wanted me to pursue some healing in my life. During this time, my involvement in ministry (of any sort) was to temporarily cease. So off I went on a personal retreat.

In the midst of my pilgrimage, God was still at work. A friend of mine quite passionate about the church's need for inclusion of the special needs community, read my research and wanted to include it in an eBook he was writing. He contacted me during my retreat and asked if he could publish it as part of his eBook. Despite my reluctance and silence toward the topic, he took the initiative to include my research as part of his publication. (I should probably clarify that I don’t harbor bad feelings toward his actions but am rather grateful he did this).

Though my voice was silent and in seclusion, God's voice was loud and active. When I was trekking through what some called a "winter season" God was at work on my behalf. Because of it, I’m now a contributing author to One Table: A New Social Gospel

And now, at the end of my winter season, I stand with a better understanding of what my next chapter in life will be. Still possessing a heart, desire, (or as some may call it), a gift to minister to the special needs community in my city, and I’m going to seek out ways and opportunities to do so. Encouragement seems to be a predominant gift the Lord has blessed me with, accompanied by a newfound gift of writing. With these I’m going to seek opportunities to write, hoping that my use of language with inspire those who come across it.

Those are my two bits; I’m curious what are yours?