Denied

“A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said.” (Mark 1:40) NLT.

As I read this verse a few weeks ago, something struck me. Here the leper asks Jesus to make him clean, but only if He wants to. The following verse tells us that Jesus is willing, so He reaches out His hand touches and heals the man. The Leper is overflowing with joy. He then spreads the word about the great and mighty work that Jesus had done and he’s possibly praising God because of it. But Jesus only healed the man because He was willing to do so. What if the leper asked Jesus to heal him and He said no?

This is a reality I am faced with daily. Born with a disability I find myself echoing the words of the leper. “Jesus, I know that you can heal me, so please take this disability away.” In the face of my plea I wake up each morning with the Lord denying my request; and living life the same as yesterday. Limited in my physical abilities and having to navigate my daily functions with an unwanted challange.

I take comfort knowing that I don’t face this alone. Scripture calms my mood when God refuses to heal my legs; especially these words from the apostle Paul: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. ” Here, Paul confesses to having a thorn embedded in his flesh. Not wanting to deal with this ailment, he too gives voice to the plea of the leper. “Jesus, if you are willing you can make me clean.” Yet Jesus withholds His healing touch. The leper praised God and spread the news of his healing, but Paul’s testimony tells a different story.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8, Paul tells us that he cried out to God, pleading three times to make his life easier by removing the thorn from his side. The Lord hears his cry and responds by saying no. Paul doesn’t need to be healed. As the thorn remains, God is shown to be bigger then healings and miracles. By keeping the thorn in his flesh, anything Paul does to advance God’s Kingdom is merely God’s Holy Spirit using Paul’s weakness to His advantage.

In his first letter to the Corinthians Paul wrote:

“…God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.”

Yet in his next letter to the Corinthian church, Paul is boasting about his weaknesses. This is an act of God’s grace. The fact that people are praising God in lieu of Paul’s weaknesses gives testimony to God’s power. No one can say that they are the only reason Paul’s ministry is thriving. Paul’s weakness is so debilitating that the ministry would suffer if he didn’t depend on God to give him his daily needs. This is why he boasts in his weaknesses. For when he is weak, God is strong. Without the thorn, Paul would rely on his own strength to see the ministry to survive. Giving him this thorn keeps Paul humbled. By solely relying on God’s strength, He gets all the credit. When someone praises Paul for his success in ministry, all the apostle can do is thank God for being an instrument of God’s grace.

Every day I wake up and realize that God denied my request to walk on my own. Consequently I’m forced to answer this question: what benefit does today’s challenge bring me? Most often the answer is humility and encouragement to those around me. When people see what I go through in a day they are humbled. Putting on socks is an example of little things that most people take for granted. Because of my disability I struggle with this task. Four or five attempts later, those socks are warming my toes. When people watch me do it with a smile, they are blown away. I’m not frustrated or beating myself up because I can’t do it or is so hard. It puts them in a place of humility.

In this example, all I’m doing is putting on a pair of socks. But some people see God in what I do. People see me struggle yet I’m not depressed or getting sad about it. I have joy! I’ve been told on countless occasions people are inspired by the joy in my heart and the smile on my face. Jesus gave me that smile. As I wake each morning, I receive the grace I need to face my challenges head on. Bringing glory to God in the midst of my weakness; praising God for His grace that is sufficient.

Earlier I shared about answering the question: what benefit does today’s challenge bring me? Think about some of your own challenges for a moment. What might some of them be? How might this approach to the challenges you face change your attitude about it? How does it help you see God in the situation?

Trying

I'm not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place I spill things a lot. My friends & I sometimes fight. I sometimes have a broken heart. But when I take a step back I realize how truly amazing life is & through it all God still loves me ♥

My friend Crystal has this posted on her Facebook page, and I love it to bits – no pun intended. It makes me laugh a bit. But it’s also true of life in general. If I had a chance to re-write it for myself this is what it might say:

My mouth gets me into trouble a lot. I speak before I think. Sometimes this happens in unhealthy doses. It rubs people the wrong way and I find myself in hot water. I make mistakes. Sometimes I do what I think is best and end up regretting it a moment later. I Find myself in vulnerable situations asking the question: how is me being here a good thing? All these lead me to a place of prayer. Knowing that I’ve made a mistake I find myself pleading for God to turn things around and make those mistakes into tent pegs that would expand His kingdom.

You might be reading this and wonder why I ask this of God. Like the apostle Paul, I believe that God can turn things around. In Ephesians 3:20, Paul writes that God can do an infinite amount of things to bring about his glory in a situation. The ways in which God does this is so mind boggling, words don’t do it justice. We are left staring blankly like a deer caught in the headlights. Our jaw hits the ground and our tongues roll out as this work unfolds. Humbled, the only words we can muster as a response is WOW! If not that, then some other form of incoherent mumbling finds its way past our lips.

If we believe God can do immeasurably more then we can ask or imagine, why not ask him to do so?

If you were to re-write something like that about yourself, what might it say? Would it sound something like this:

Personal Challenge: Being A Bearer of Life

One of the gals I regularly have coffee with likes to tinker around doing odd jobs around the house. The tasks are minor things like cleaning and organizing stacks of paper, making grocery list or cleaning silverware. Whenever I visit her, she like to serve me coffee. Watching her grab the cup, lift the pot, and pour the drink, she squints. Arthritis grips her bones and makes simple movements like this a daily challenge. Seeing her struggle to serve me I offer to help and usually get shunned away and told to stay seated and relax.

Puttering around the house, inviting people over for coffee and tea allows her to keep busy and take her mind off the difficulty arthritis has made her daily life. Doing so lifts her spirits and keeps her mind from travelling down a dark road. No surrender is her attitude. No matter how bad things get, she’s got to keep a positive attitude. This is best accomplished by keeping busy and getting her mind off how bad things are.

I know a few people who are in the same situation. They end up facing some challenge but have given up and stopped fighting. Rather then embracing it, and attempting to cope with their newfound challenge they sit around sulking. Both their physical and mental health deteriorates. They eventually receive an intervention. If it’s not from family then the intervention is brought on by a medical professional.

One of the churches I’m currently attending has a value of invitational living. What this means is, as members we ought to invite people to become a part of our community and worship God together. Considering the story of the gal with arthritis and the depth of despair some of my neighbors have been facing, I am challenged. John 10:10 tells us that Jesus came to give people life. Being a Christian I bear the name and message of Christ, not only did Christ commission me to be vocal about my relationship to God, but it’s also ingrained into the DNA of one of the churches I attend.

Seeing people get so down on themselves they need an intervention has me wondering if there’s something I’m missing. If there’s something more I can do to bring the message of hope and life that Christ brings. Do I need to step up my game and be more vocal about the one who brings me life in moments of despair? Either way I am challenged to be more bold about my Savior (in every sense of the word), Jesus Christ

An Opportune Time

The clock on my computer just rolled on to 330AM. And while the rest of the world is asleep, at this time I’m wide awake struggling with impure thoughts and motives. I’d much rather be nestled under my covers resting after a long 18 hour day. instead my mind is teetering between thoughts of lust, wanting to covet what I don’t have, recalling a chunk of Luke chapter 4 and a few lines from the worship song “Love Lifted Me.”
The opening verses of Luke 4 tell of Jesus’ forty day retreat in the desert and three duels with the devil. After successfully thwarting the devils attempts to disable the messiah’s relationship with God, Verse 13 tells us the devil let Jesus alone until “an opportune time.”

I used to read those three words and wonder what they meant, when exactly was an opportune time? Well, Sitting here wide awake now at 402AM, I think I have a better understanding of when the perfect time came to bother people. Given my current situation, I can almost guarantee that Satan came back to torment Jesus at a time where temptations proved to be inconvenient for Jesus.

Ephesians 6:12 says the Christian’s battle isn’t so much against the people of this world as it is against evil spirits. What an opportune time to experience this opposition. When I’d be better off sleeping, I’m awake experiencing a battle to remain wholly pure before the one who determines my eternal destiny. In response to that I say:

Make me pure in your site Lord

I want to be pure in your eyes Lord,

Make me pure

I want to be

Pure

Wanted: Your Opinions on Either/Or Situations… Is praying for both outcomes a long winded Pater Noster

Pater Noster is another way of saying the Lord’s Prayer, and I was wondering of I was mimicking this the other night as I ended one of my prayers… I was praying for a friend’s family as they go through a rough time. As time goes on, all I can do is watch and pray. And as I see it, they are in a deep valley that is testing their strength and pushing them to limits that is personally too much to bear. As I watch things unfold, one thing is clear: their troubles are taking a toll on their kid. Their child is lashing out in anger and frustration. I’m concerned for the child’s future and how this deep valley is affecting their faith in God.

I’ve heard stories of people who once had a relationship with God, went through a traumatic childhood experience and now denounce God any chance they get. They tell me God didn’t hear them when they were a kid so why should they give Him any attention now? If He did hear them, He didn’t intervene so forget God and everything He stands for. This is one of my concerns for the young family. As the child gets older, this trauma will fuel the child’s separation from God.

But as much as I’ve heard people share their frustration and anger toward God during a rough time, I’ve also had people tell of great struggles and how they cling to God in times of great need. During these times the Lord is all they have. Despite being surrounded by darkness and despair, these people refuse to give up believing in God. Enduring their trauma while seeking the Lord, has solidified or affirmed their faith in Him. Now living on the other side of their deep valley, they come out stronger and have a more intimate relationship with the Alpha and Omega then before.

There are times I don’t know what to pray for, but I am concerned. I know there is pain involved so I pray for healing whenever I think about it. I pray for the child that the hurt and pain they feel would dissipate. I also hope and pray that God would protect the child’s faith and they would get stronger instead of walking away. Truth be told, I have no idea what the future holds for this young family; nor do I know if this difficulty will be too much for the young one to bear.

As much as I hate to admit it, it is possible for the young one to walk away scathed and angry at God for not lifting them out of the deep valley. So I pray in the event that the child abandons God that their story would be like that of the prodigal son. Though they have wandered away, the Lord would keep his hand on them to restore what once was lost.

As I ended the prayer, I found myself praying in the event of both outcomes. If the kid walks away bring the young'un back, but if the kid chooses to hang in their and walk with God through the valley give’em strength. Then I began to wonder … is it ok that I pray this way? Is it demonstrated in scripture? What about the Lord’s Prayer? Particularly this part:

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Matt 6:10

Are Jesus’ words here a simpler way of saying “Dear God, in an either/or situation, be in BOTH!”… HMMM

The Charismatic Enigma: Keeping The Dream Alive

Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water's edge. He taught them many things by parables…

Mark 4:1-2

A few weeks ago Calgary’s oldest community hosted one of the city’s annual street festivals. Commonly known as The Inglewood Sunfest, the community hosted the event in conjunction with the start of the Calgary Fringe Festival. Taking advantage of the warm weather, I attended the event. For nearly three blocks the street was lined with tents and their vendors offering their goods or services at a reduced rate. Jewelry, chiropractors, fashion boutiques, food vendors and even those running in the civic election lined the streets attempting to solicit attendees.

The thing that impressed me most was the street performers. They’d set up their gear at an empty intersection, draw a crowd and perform their show. One of them was a hula-hooping cheerleader named Minnie Maniac. At one point she was cracking a whip and hoping to generate more interest and garner a larger crowd of onlookers. Armed with tricks that included changing from her street clothes into her cheerleading outfit while hula hooping, she would dazzle the crowd. She finished the show with her best skill – sitting on top of a human pyramid while simultaneously twirling 6 hula hoops on her body. In exchange for a great show, she’d asked those who watched to support her by paying her what they thought the show was worth.

The impressive thing I saw in the street performers was their ability to draw and keep a crowd. In the case of Minnie Maniac, drawing a crowd required some effort using a whip to get peoples attention. Regardless, being able to do that is still quite the feat. I’ve seen magic performers do the same thing with no whip in hand, and still I’m puzzled. Is it charisma, pheromones, the Holy Spirit or some other enigma that adorns masses?

In Christ’s ability to draw crowds, it’s so easy to assume the people who were drawn to him were explicitly led to the lakeshore by the Spirit of God. But Mark 3:3 points out some that followed him were keeping tabs on him waiting to slam him for blasphemies and anything else that could be used to halt his growing influence. Furthermore, Jesus spoke in parables. Alan Carr, a North Carolina pastor suggests Jesus spoke in parables for the benefit of those who hadn’t rejected the truth. In a parable, “those who were sincere and hungry for the truth would have that truth revealed to them. Those who were closed minded to the truth would have that truth concealed from them."

I could go on providing a laundry list of things that attributed to the masses Jesus generated. But to make it easier on my fingers and your reading, the reasons can be summed up in two things: the Holy Spirit and his reputation provided the bulk of his enigmatic quirks. But what about those of us who live 2000+ years after Jesus did? What makes people interested in what we are doing? Is it charisma, pheromones, the Holy Spirit or some other enigmatic quirk that keeps another’s interest?

I can’t help but wonder if these questions are tugging at your heart today. Perhaps you’re in leadership and have hit a plateau. At one point you started something and the momentum you once had has faded. Now you find your dream on the brink of collapsing beneath you. If your dream is facing foreclosure; don’t give up! Not yet; especially if you are still reading this particular blog entry. Maybe there’s something I’ve said that has sparked a glimmer of hope in you. Do you look at your dream and see nothing but a train wreck? Most train wrecks occur because something interferes with the train’s momentum. Perhaps you need to crack the whip and rediscover the enigmatic anomaly that started your train’s momentum!?!?!?!

Joy In The Morning

“There’s something different about you Tim, your not like most people around here… more people should be like you, a fighter!” I learned a long time ago that encouragement is one of my gifts from God. So comments like this shouldn’t amaze me but they always do. I struggled to find the right words as a neighbor shared this over coffee last week, and all I could come up with was “thanks.”

I would like to take credit for the times people see me as a power house, source of strength or what have you, but the truth is that strength is not my own. Psalm 121:2 says:

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!

I have a couple “friends by book” … I guess they are more appropriately “friends through circumstance,” who share the same scenario as mine last week. One of these friends is Joni Eareckson Tada. Being asked the same question she often shares this story:

“After my husband, Ken, leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., I’m alone until I hear the front door open at 7:00 a.m. That’s when a friend arrives to get me up…While I listen to her make coffee, I pray, ‘Oh, Lord, my friend will soon give me a bath, get me dressed, sit me up in my chair, brush my hair and teeth, and send me out the door. I don’t have the strength to face this routine one more time. I have no resources. I don’t have a smile to take into the day. But You do. May I have Yours? God, I need You desperately.’ I turn my head toward her and give her a smile sent straight from heaven. It’s not mine. It’s God’s. And so,” I said, gesturing to my paralyzed legs, “whatever joy you see today was hard won this morning.”

One of my newer “friends via circumstance” Nick Vujicic says, “Anything good that you see in me, is not me as a Christian, its God being gracious and showing up in me.”

I too echo the words of my comrade’s. My life isn’t always a bed of roses. I have days where I get down in the dumps and go through the motions, just waiting for the day to end. In my life its true, any strength or encouragement you see in me, does not come from me. It’s God using me in the moment. The reason and how fore is meaningless. Your strength or encouragement is all that matters.