Saturday, February 5, 2011

Little Green Monsters

When The Hulk gets mad and aggravated he turns into a green monster, smashes a bunch of stuff (usually cars, buildings or a world famous landmark like the Eiffel tower for example) and once he calms down, he’s back to being a “normal” white American scientist dude who needs a new shirt and to tailor his pants … again. I’m proud to say that I let out my little green monster today. I didn’t smash a giant hole in the roof of the Saddledome. I didn’t get to use the tip of the Calgary Tower as a toothpick. I even managed to avoid using Banff’s Gondola as my own person zip line. Instead I got out to the gym and was able to join the rest of my colleagues in lifting weights expelling testosterone.

I have had a hell of a January. I took a late night bus back to Calgary from Regina. Didn’t get any sleep that night because I foolishly drank an XL Tim Horton’s Ice Cappuccino at about 2 am. I went to work one night and slipped while walking home from the mall that night. My one hand absorbed most of the fall and I spent the night awake in the ER waiting to see if I broke the wrist. At 6AM the doctor tells me I just bruised the tendons. Thankfully it WASN’T broken. But being awake all night messed up my sleep schedule...again.

I was awake at night and sleepy during the day. My coaches were telling me not to come to practices because the exercise would make my wrist worse. So it’s been 3 weeks since I’ve been to the gym; and thus cooped up in the house. Once I got my sleep schedule back to normal, I spent the night at a friend’s house watching movies. Unfortunately neither of us was paying attention to the clock, so it wasn’t until 5AM when one of us turned out the lights. At this point we both agreed it was definitely bed time and nodded off to lala land until sometime in the afternoon.

I spent the next 3 days awake when I really should be sleeping and sleeping when I should be awake working on my book. When my wrist FINALLY gets back to feeling normal, I start getting sick – but only for a short time. 2 days tops and then its gone. At first it was diarrhea. I’m only gonna expand on that by saying two words: NOT FUN! AND it threw off my sleep schedule ... again. Awake at night and sleepy during the day. Once that went away, my stomach started sounding like it was a pot of hot soup still cooking on the stove… pause so you can imagine the sound… GREAT! Yet ANOTHER THING to keep me down and out (AKA cooped up indoors) for 2-3 days.

Then the other day – as in this past Thursday – I decide to make an entire pot of coffee for myself. It turns out that drinking the whole pot yourself is too much caffeine. It doesnt matter that you started it at 9 am, you're still awake at 5 am the next day, but I digress. As a pleasent side effect, I start getting jittery and my body is shaking uncontrollably. I was awake the whole night probably high on caffeine from all the coffee I drank during the day.

Aside from all the craziness of having a messed up sleep schedule, nursing my wrist, and being sick I’ve still been working on writing my devotionals. I haven’t been able to pump out as many, but I’m still writing stuff everyday. Writing as a top priority is still something I struggle with. I have been wrestling with doing it at least 5 days a week. I’ve come to learn it’s a discipline that separates the great writers from those that work for the tabloids and porn magazines.

With that said there have been times where I try to sleep but can’t because I have a great ending to a devotional that comes at 2 or 3 in the morning and its all I can think about until I get it written out. So I’m on my computer in the wee hours of the morning working it out; Instead of lying in bed working it out. I’ll pay for it when the alarm goes off at 8 to get up for church or keep a somewhat normal “get up in the morning and go to bed at night” kind of schedule. But at least I won’t spend the first 2 hours of the day staring blankly at the screen trying to pick up where I left off the day before because I’ve forgotten what I was went through my head at 2AM and made perfect sense. Which by the way is an absolute pet peeve of mine – Staring at the screen for an hour or two and have nothing on the page feels extremely unproductive, but I’m rambling.

Today I was hell bent on getting to the gym and decided that no matter what I was going to go. If I was awake at 5AM I would get up when the alarm goes off at 8 and get ready to head out for the day. I went to bed at 3AM last night. Devotional is STILL not done at this point because I’m expending more energy trying to stay awake then finishing it. GRRRR So I went to bed so tired I was sore and frustrated that I didn’t accomplish my goal of getting the devotional done.

8AM rolled around and it took me 2 hours but I was out the door and ready to start my day. I had to do an errand before the gym in the afternoon so at 10:30 this morning I was at the library focused on getting that errand done. Errand is done and I beat the rest of my cycling team to the gym. I was dead tired and much preferred the comfort of my pillow and blanket to propping my eyes open with toothpicks and getting through the day via another Tim Horton’s double-double. But I am out and about instead of putting around my place going “woe is me” or drooling over the keys on my laptop. Ironically, I was sipping on a Tim Horton’s XL double-double.

Thinking about everything I’ve been though this last month – if you don’t know by now what that is then your nuts and need professional help – I break down. I send out a text message to a few closer friends that read: I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I unload all of this to the first person that responds and take off to the bathroom like a stereotypical girl in a teenage high school drama queen you see in movies like mean girls. I spend 15 minutes in the bathroom stall crying, then I wipe away the tears, soak my face in a paper towel and off I head to meet the cycling team.

Apprehensive about getting me on the track due to my wrist (which by the way feels 100% at this point in time – even after my workout) my coach puts me through a routine lifting weight. THE BEST THING EVER!!! It feels AMAZING AND I let out all the frustrations I had crying in the bathroom like a little school girl not 10 minutes prior. I get home have one of the nicest showers in a long LONG time change into something comfy and feel like a new man! So now that I’ve let out my little green monster and can go back to being a normal gibbled up little Tim bit, just like Bruce Banner! (I mean The Hulk) LOL!

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