Denied

“A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said.” (Mark 1:40) NLT.

As I read this verse a few weeks ago, something struck me. Here the leper asks Jesus to make him clean, but only if He wants to. The following verse tells us that Jesus is willing, so He reaches out His hand touches and heals the man. The Leper is overflowing with joy. He then spreads the word about the great and mighty work that Jesus had done and he’s possibly praising God because of it. But Jesus only healed the man because He was willing to do so. What if the leper asked Jesus to heal him and He said no?

This is a reality I am faced with daily. Born with a disability I find myself echoing the words of the leper. “Jesus, I know that you can heal me, so please take this disability away.” In the face of my plea I wake up each morning with the Lord denying my request; and living life the same as yesterday. Limited in my physical abilities and having to navigate my daily functions with an unwanted challange.

I take comfort knowing that I don’t face this alone. Scripture calms my mood when God refuses to heal my legs; especially these words from the apostle Paul: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. ” Here, Paul confesses to having a thorn embedded in his flesh. Not wanting to deal with this ailment, he too gives voice to the plea of the leper. “Jesus, if you are willing you can make me clean.” Yet Jesus withholds His healing touch. The leper praised God and spread the news of his healing, but Paul’s testimony tells a different story.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8, Paul tells us that he cried out to God, pleading three times to make his life easier by removing the thorn from his side. The Lord hears his cry and responds by saying no. Paul doesn’t need to be healed. As the thorn remains, God is shown to be bigger then healings and miracles. By keeping the thorn in his flesh, anything Paul does to advance God’s Kingdom is merely God’s Holy Spirit using Paul’s weakness to His advantage.

In his first letter to the Corinthians Paul wrote:

“…God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.”

Yet in his next letter to the Corinthian church, Paul is boasting about his weaknesses. This is an act of God’s grace. The fact that people are praising God in lieu of Paul’s weaknesses gives testimony to God’s power. No one can say that they are the only reason Paul’s ministry is thriving. Paul’s weakness is so debilitating that the ministry would suffer if he didn’t depend on God to give him his daily needs. This is why he boasts in his weaknesses. For when he is weak, God is strong. Without the thorn, Paul would rely on his own strength to see the ministry to survive. Giving him this thorn keeps Paul humbled. By solely relying on God’s strength, He gets all the credit. When someone praises Paul for his success in ministry, all the apostle can do is thank God for being an instrument of God’s grace.

Every day I wake up and realize that God denied my request to walk on my own. Consequently I’m forced to answer this question: what benefit does today’s challenge bring me? Most often the answer is humility and encouragement to those around me. When people see what I go through in a day they are humbled. Putting on socks is an example of little things that most people take for granted. Because of my disability I struggle with this task. Four or five attempts later, those socks are warming my toes. When people watch me do it with a smile, they are blown away. I’m not frustrated or beating myself up because I can’t do it or is so hard. It puts them in a place of humility.

In this example, all I’m doing is putting on a pair of socks. But some people see God in what I do. People see me struggle yet I’m not depressed or getting sad about it. I have joy! I’ve been told on countless occasions people are inspired by the joy in my heart and the smile on my face. Jesus gave me that smile. As I wake each morning, I receive the grace I need to face my challenges head on. Bringing glory to God in the midst of my weakness; praising God for His grace that is sufficient.

Earlier I shared about answering the question: what benefit does today’s challenge bring me? Think about some of your own challenges for a moment. What might some of them be? How might this approach to the challenges you face change your attitude about it? How does it help you see God in the situation?

Wanted: Your Opinions on Either/Or Situations… Is praying for both outcomes a long winded Pater Noster

Pater Noster is another way of saying the Lord’s Prayer, and I was wondering of I was mimicking this the other night as I ended one of my prayers… I was praying for a friend’s family as they go through a rough time. As time goes on, all I can do is watch and pray. And as I see it, they are in a deep valley that is testing their strength and pushing them to limits that is personally too much to bear. As I watch things unfold, one thing is clear: their troubles are taking a toll on their kid. Their child is lashing out in anger and frustration. I’m concerned for the child’s future and how this deep valley is affecting their faith in God.

I’ve heard stories of people who once had a relationship with God, went through a traumatic childhood experience and now denounce God any chance they get. They tell me God didn’t hear them when they were a kid so why should they give Him any attention now? If He did hear them, He didn’t intervene so forget God and everything He stands for. This is one of my concerns for the young family. As the child gets older, this trauma will fuel the child’s separation from God.

But as much as I’ve heard people share their frustration and anger toward God during a rough time, I’ve also had people tell of great struggles and how they cling to God in times of great need. During these times the Lord is all they have. Despite being surrounded by darkness and despair, these people refuse to give up believing in God. Enduring their trauma while seeking the Lord, has solidified or affirmed their faith in Him. Now living on the other side of their deep valley, they come out stronger and have a more intimate relationship with the Alpha and Omega then before.

There are times I don’t know what to pray for, but I am concerned. I know there is pain involved so I pray for healing whenever I think about it. I pray for the child that the hurt and pain they feel would dissipate. I also hope and pray that God would protect the child’s faith and they would get stronger instead of walking away. Truth be told, I have no idea what the future holds for this young family; nor do I know if this difficulty will be too much for the young one to bear.

As much as I hate to admit it, it is possible for the young one to walk away scathed and angry at God for not lifting them out of the deep valley. So I pray in the event that the child abandons God that their story would be like that of the prodigal son. Though they have wandered away, the Lord would keep his hand on them to restore what once was lost.

As I ended the prayer, I found myself praying in the event of both outcomes. If the kid walks away bring the young'un back, but if the kid chooses to hang in their and walk with God through the valley give’em strength. Then I began to wonder … is it ok that I pray this way? Is it demonstrated in scripture? What about the Lord’s Prayer? Particularly this part:

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Matt 6:10

Are Jesus’ words here a simpler way of saying “Dear God, in an either/or situation, be in BOTH!”… HMMM

Naturally Enhancing The Body's Performance?

A number of months ago I was struggling with how I best enhance the ministry of the church. 1 Corinthians 12 talks about the church being like a human body. The human body has many parts to it. Each has a primary responsibility or task that is uniquely separate from every other individual part. Yet they serve an overarching purpose and without that individual function, the body’s entire function/purpose would be in jeopardy. The apostle Paul relates this to the ministry of the church.

He says there are certain things needed in the church in order for it to function properly. Such things include apostles, teachers, leaders, helpers and the list goes on. I personally believe everyone can be used for ministry. Part of the Christian life is figuring out where you fit in the Body of Christ. How your gifts, talents, and abilities enhance the ministry of the church and enlarge the Kingdom of God.

During this time I invited a pastor friend over for a coffee visit. One of the things he suggested was that my mission is to serve those of the disability/special needs community. This was a natural place of ministry for me. I had an “in” that he didn’t. I am a special needs individual. I am one of them. This gives me a voice that others don’t have. As an able bodied person, whenever he talks to someone that uses a wheelchair, crutches, a walker, etc, etc, it just goes in one ear and out the other. The pastor furthered his point by saying this is because an able bodied person doesn’t understand what it’s like to live with disability.

I wonder if this attitude is reflected in the psalms. For example, check out psalm 73:

Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills. Psalm 73:1-6 NIV

I also wonder if that’s what Paul meant when he wrote:

Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ. When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. 1 Corinthians 9:19-22 NLT

What about you? What do you think about this?

A Key To Longevity In Youth… [Err, um ALL] Ministry

It’s said there’s 52 weeks in a calendar year…which accounts for 13 months instead of 12 by the way, but I digress…

So by that count, I’ll be celebrating a rather unique anniversary in the next week or two. The end of July is when I first moved into my own place. Since that time life has been a whirlwind of adventure. Without getting into too much detail, I can in retrospect say there were times when I was so busy I very nearly experienced burnout. I can recall at least three times this past year, if not four, I’ve had to put the breaks on, isolate myself, and recharge my batteries. There’s nothing wrong with that; Jesus modeled it during his ministry.

He directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone… Matt 14:19-23 NIV

This time, I decided to turn off my phone, lock my door and read through a selection of psalms. I open the book and begin reading the first psalm when my eyes come across this:

His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:2-3 NIV

In college we were told the longevity and sustainability of your ministry, what ever it may be, is directly connected to your relationship with God. If you’re feeding that relationship by spending time with the Lord in prayer and reading the scriptures, then your ministry will flourish. If that relationship is stagnant, and you’re not including the use of scripture and/or prayer in your daily activity, your ministry will suffer; and even become stagnant itself.

Whenever I read that in a book or heard someone else say that, I would make time to read my bible and pray. Unfortunately it wouldn’t be too long before that discipline would taper off and I’d be doing things in my own strength, treating my prayer and bible reading as a panic button or a glass case containing a fire extinguisher. In case of emergency break glass!

Now that I’m out of college and been in ministry for approximately a year. I can say without a doubt that taking time to nourish your relationship with God is a key to a successful ministry. I would even venture to say any activity suffers if you neglect to “… delight in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

I have to admit though I do feel like a hypocrite saying this as its not something I continually practice. So if you come across this, I would ask that you pray for me. That I would regularly take time to read the word of God and pray, so I don’t experience burnout as much, and can have the strength to face the day for the many moons ahead of me.

Chains of Glory

My best friend and I are living proof that opposites attract. He’s tall, I’m short. He’s skinny and I’m not. He’s quick and impatient but I’m slow and take my time. Our differences couldn’t have been more obvious then this past weekend. We spent an afternoon together hanging out in his basement suite. Around dinner time he suggested we head to a nearby burger joint to satisfy our hunger. He told me it was within walking distance and would only take a few minutes to get there. So I grabbed my crutches and away we went. A block and a half into our journey, I’m sweating up a storm but going as fast as I can. My best friend is resting half a block away waiting for me to catch up.

What was a 5 minute walk for my friend ended up taking about a half hour! The walk was quite a challenge for me and when I got there I was dehydrated and in desperate need of a drink. In a few days I was scheduled to do a 10KM road race so I treated the walk as training for the upcoming event. It wasn’t until our journey back that my friend starts to realize just how challenging this trek for burgers is for me.

It starts settling in that he has a much easier time getting around then his little friend on crutches. After seeing the workout I’m getting from a proverbial “run to the store,” he starts running on the spot. By doing this, he figures he can get the same effect I am. That day he had a lesson in humility and a lot more to be thankful for when he went to bed.

When people first see that I have a disability, they have an automatic inclination to find out what happened. I usually tell people I was born with a disability and wouldn’t have it any other way. Life with disability is all I know. Unlike someone who ends up paralyzed after birth, I have nothing to compare it too so I don’t wake up wishing I could walk again.

Viewing a disability as good is not a universal stance. Being in a wheelchair 24 hours a day is a source of pain for many. I once met a girl in a wheelchair who wants to be a scientist so she can find a cure for her disability. Doing so will free her from the prison that is her disability. Even though I consider it a joy to be in a wheelchair, there are some days I agree. Because of my disability, I am in prison. During those times, I’ve found comfort from the apostle Paul:

Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly. Philippians 1:12-14 NIV

Paul writes this while he is in prison awaiting trial in Rome. “He had been allowed to arrange private lodging for himself; but night and day in that private lodging there was a soldier to guard him…” some in the church might view his imprisonment as a bad thing, so he writes this to let them know exactly the opposite has happened. Whenever Paul had a visitor, he would preach to them about Christ. Because a guard had to be with him at all times, it meant the guard’s duty was to watch and, consequently, listen to everything Paul was saying. This happened on and off over a two year period. During that time it became abundantly clear to everyone that Paul had a relationship with Christ. In Paul’s eyes this was how the Lord was advancing the gospel.

Paul’s prison term had another advantage. “…because of Paul's imprisonment in Rome many people had heard the gospel who would not otherwise have heard it.” Acts 28:17-30 tells us who these people are. Unbelieving Jews and Gentiles were among those Paul preached to. Other Christians were also encouraged by Paul’s boldness in sharing his testimony. This is how Paul can praise God for such dark circumstances.

I am no stranger to being an encouragement to people. One time it happened while I was at a conference in a local church. Sessions were held all over the place. Some were in the basement while others were held atop numerous flights of stairs. Stairs are not an issue for me, so I was a trooper and climbed them as necessary. At the beginning of the second day, I ended up chatting with a gentleman who attended the conference while staying at a homeless shelter. He told me he was hesitant in coming the night before; until he seen me going up and down those stairs on crutches still smiling. He went home that night and thought about what he’d seen. Considering the joy in the midst of the struggles I had, he decided to return for the rest of the conference hearing the Gospel of Christ he might otherwise have not been exposed too.

In 2 Corinthians 12, we learn that Gods power is made perfect in weakness. In sharing his weakness with the Corinthians (2 Cor. 12:7-10), Paul tells them having the weakness keeps him humble. Any good that he accomplishes doesn’t come from any merit of his own. It is God being gracious to him and using him in the moment. Sometimes God does that with us.

He gives us a weakness to keep us humble. Anytime people see something good come out of it, we are shocked. How such good can come out of our seemingly dark circumstances? It is because God is using us in ways that at the end of the night when our head hits the pillow all we can say is “praise God!”

What are your weaknesses? How might God be using them to open doors to share what Christ is doing in your life?

Joy In The Morning

“There’s something different about you Tim, your not like most people around here… more people should be like you, a fighter!” I learned a long time ago that encouragement is one of my gifts from God. So comments like this shouldn’t amaze me but they always do. I struggled to find the right words as a neighbor shared this over coffee last week, and all I could come up with was “thanks.”

I would like to take credit for the times people see me as a power house, source of strength or what have you, but the truth is that strength is not my own. Psalm 121:2 says:

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!

I have a couple “friends by book” … I guess they are more appropriately “friends through circumstance,” who share the same scenario as mine last week. One of these friends is Joni Eareckson Tada. Being asked the same question she often shares this story:

“After my husband, Ken, leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., I’m alone until I hear the front door open at 7:00 a.m. That’s when a friend arrives to get me up…While I listen to her make coffee, I pray, ‘Oh, Lord, my friend will soon give me a bath, get me dressed, sit me up in my chair, brush my hair and teeth, and send me out the door. I don’t have the strength to face this routine one more time. I have no resources. I don’t have a smile to take into the day. But You do. May I have Yours? God, I need You desperately.’ I turn my head toward her and give her a smile sent straight from heaven. It’s not mine. It’s God’s. And so,” I said, gesturing to my paralyzed legs, “whatever joy you see today was hard won this morning.”

One of my newer “friends via circumstance” Nick Vujicic says, “Anything good that you see in me, is not me as a Christian, its God being gracious and showing up in me.”

I too echo the words of my comrade’s. My life isn’t always a bed of roses. I have days where I get down in the dumps and go through the motions, just waiting for the day to end. In my life its true, any strength or encouragement you see in me, does not come from me. It’s God using me in the moment. The reason and how fore is meaningless. Your strength or encouragement is all that matters.