Sometimer's

This week has been a challenging week for me. I experienced a desire to be selfish. To do what I want while throwing all caution to the wind not caring about the consequences or ramifications of my actions. There were times I struggled to do what pleases God, but there’s an odd thing about these selfish desires … I felt a pull toward them like a magnet to a chalk board. I don’t know why I act that way but I’m sure the foursome of Skillet feels the same way as they write:

Sometimes I don't try

To make you happy

I don't know why I do the things I do to you but

Sometimes I don't wanna be better

Sometimes I can't be put back together

Sometimes I find it hard to believe

There's someone else who could be

Just as messed up as me

Sometimes I can't hide

The demons that I face

Sometimes don't deny

I'm sometimes sinner sometimes saint

Sometimes I don't wanna be better

Sometimes I can't be put back together

Sometimes I find it hard to believe

There's someone else who could be

Just as messed up as me

I find comfort in the confession of the Apostle Paul as he shares his struggles to remain a committed Christian, the struggles of the Israeli’s in Judges and 1 & 2 Kings, for it means I'm not the sole person wrestling with this. Still I struggle with why there’s this tug toward sin. I mean the bible says that Christ overcomes the power of sin doesn’t it? I suppose next time I’m tempted to “go astray” I could take Jesus advice to Peter and pray. I have a problem with that though. It’s easier said then done! My heart races, I feel a sense of pressure, and an intense weight sometimes falls on my shoulders. My mind goes topsy turvy and I go back and forth with thoughts of:

*** I could give in to my urges because {insert reason here}, but I really shouldn't because {insert opposing reason here} ***

Am I on to something here, or am I up Schmidt creek without a paddle? MEH! Whatever! I don’t know what I’m saying… It’s late, and I think I really should head to bed before I spin circles around my own thoughts? *** thinks to himself*** "hey! Is that a RAT?

AAAAHHH!!!!!! Rats drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once there were rats there. Rats drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once there were rats there. Rats drive me crazy! Crazy? Ooops I think its too late for that lol! good night yall!